Goat Simulator 3 Switch 2 Review

Goat Simulator 3 Switch 2 Review
Version Reviewed: Nintendo Switch 2

I don’t think I’ve ever had a game infuriate me as much as Goat Simulator 3 did on the original Nintendo Switch. Some of that came down to expectations, but a lot of it came down to what felt like an insulting port that launched at a premium price and, to this day, still feels broken. So when Goat Simulator 3 was announced for the Switch 2, once again as a paid upgrade, I felt conflicted about jumping back in. Once bitten by the goat, twice shy, so to speak. Despite that, I decided to wipe the slate clean and approach this version on its own terms, with no baaaaad blood. What’s it like? Headbutt some bystanders, cause some mayhem, and hoof about as we review Goat Simulator 3 for Nintendo Switch 2.

For newcomers to the series, Goat Simulator 3 is actually the second main entry, and you play as Pilgor, a goat that takes great delight in causing all sorts of mayhem and disaster wherever he goes. The game opens with a Skyrim-style parody, with Pilgor waking up in the back of a cart and being fed a bunch of exposition to set up the game’s very light narrative. From there, you’ll synchronise with goat towers, unlock challenges and tasks, and start unleashing chaos across the world while earning new items to equip along the way. It’s a fairly formulaic structure, but one that works well in short bursts.

The Switch 2 version’s main selling point is its upgraded visuals, alongside additional DLC support, which the game wastes no time trying to sell you as soon as you boot it up. If you already own the digital Switch 1 version, you can upgrade at a 70% discount. Physical owners, however, seem to be left out of the barn and in the cold for now. Your save data also doesn’t carry across, and if you previously purchased the Digital Downgrade DLC, you’ll need to buy it again on the Switch 2 version. I found this pretty disappointing. Given how rough the Switch 1 version still is, making the upgrade free would have gone a long way in building some goodwill with players. Instead, it feels like a missed opportunity. At the time of this review, the game has also been temporarily delisted from the eShop in ANZ and EU regions for reasons unknown.

The game’s progression system is tied to quests and “instincts,” which are essentially mini-challenges that reward points used to unlock a magical door in your goat tower. Quests can be quite varied, from building your own car to training ballerinas who end up unleashing a tornado, or even something as ridiculous as nuking a town. Instincts, on the other hand, are smaller challenges you can complete almost anywhere, like headbutting five people or driving a firetruck. To me, these challenges feel a lot like finding gaps in the Tony Hawk games, and there’s something genuinely satisfying about discovering and ticking them off as you play. There’s also no shortage of unlockables. You’ll find plenty of outfits, items, and abilities, along with a steady stream of pop culture references, groan-inducing puns, and visual gags. You can customise Pilgor in all sorts of ways, and there’s something inherently funny about watching a goat in a tutu with a blowtorch sprinting from the police while blowing up everything in sight.

Goat Simulator 3 on Nintendo Switch 2 also features split-screen multiplayer, which has been improved over the original Switch version. You can now move much more freely across the map without being aggressively tethered to your partner, something that was clearly limited by the original hardware. There are still some trade-offs. Multiplayer can introduce a few frame rate dips and some asset pop-in during busier moments, but for the most part, it remains a fun and more dynamic way to experience the game.

Graphically, Goat Simulator 3 on Switch 2 is a massive step up from the original Switch version, boasting significant improvements to texture detail, ground clutter, resolution, asset quality, and lighting. The difference between the two versions really is night and day, and it goes a long way in making this a far more enjoyable experience overall. Asset pop-in has also been noticeably improved. You are far less likely to collide with invisible objects, and the world no longer feels flat or washed out with single-colour textures. Instead, it has a lot more depth and detail, which helps bring the island of San Angora to life.

There are three main areas to explore, and the improved visuals make it much more enjoyable to run around causing havoc, whether you are freeing whales, helping alien invaders, or hijacking cars to tear across the island. Frame rate has also seen an improvement, no longer capped at 30fps and instead hovering around the mid-40s for the most part. There are still dips and occasional hitches, but it is another clear step forward compared to the original release. Unfortunately, despite these improvements, Goat Simulator 3 on Switch 2 is still held back by a range of technical issues. Bugs remain fairly common, from ragdoll and visual inconsistencies to odd glitches that can interrupt gameplay. While the experience is undeniably better, it is not without its frustrations.

For my goats looking into Accessi-billy-ty, there are a few options you can change, like turning off motion blur, turning on camera smoothing, turning off camera shakes, and adding subtitles. All inputs can be rebound for ease of use. The game doesn’t have a mini-map, but you can pin locations on the in-game map, which guides you with an indicator on the top of the screen, making it easier to find and locate towers and objectives. As always, I recommend doing further research to find out if Goat Simulator 3 caters to your needs

At full price, or even with the 70% discount for digital owners, Goat Simulator 3 on Nintendo Switch 2 offers okay value. I do think it would have landed better at around the $30 mark rather than $45, and making the upgrade free for both physical and digital owners could have gone a long way in building goodwill. That said, there is a lot to do here, and the improvements to visuals and reduced pop-in make this a noticeably better experience than the Switch 1 version. It is enough to bump the score up from a 54 to a 68 out of 100. Goat Simulator 3 is not afraid to poke fun at itself, but for many players, that joke may start to wear thin rather quickly.

So, What’s it Like? Goat Simulator 3 feels like a positive step for the franchise on the Switch 2.

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