This article may contain trigger points about suicide and depression. Reader discretion is advised. If you need to talk to someone, a list of organisations that can help is at the bottom of this article.
Remember, help is available and you matter.
It’s no secret that becoming a parent can be a daunting life event, but what may come as a surprise to some is that 1 in 10 new dads will experience perinatal anxiety and/or depression after the arrival of their child. The statistics behind men’s mental health are concerning, with 7 men reportedly dying to suicide a day here in Australia. It’s apparent there’s a stigma attached to seeking help, with studies showing men are significantly less likely to seek help when dealing with mental health issues compared to women. William Parry from DadLan LTD knows the feeling of isolation after becoming a parent all too well, and after realising his real-life support network wasn’t very strong, took the initiative to book a local hall for a LAN Party and reached out to other dads in the hopes of making some new friends and starting a positive conversation around mental health, what he got however, evolved far beyond the Ethernet Hub.
The idea of DadLAN started after William became a dad for the first time, “As a new dad I was feeling pretty socially isolated at the time, and my real-life support network was not very strong, so setting something up to address this seemed like a good idea.” William saw an opportunity to make a positive change after seeing the support structure offered to his wife “I also noticed that my wife was automatically put into mother’s groups by the local health district and thought that dads should have the same service for them too.” From there, the idea of DadLAN was planted. It wasn’t until a few months later when William’s close friend David Pirogov who had recently become a dad, and Shawn O’Neill came together to bring the idea to fruition, and their support and hard work helped grow DadLAN into what it is today.
While it is important to acknowledge the support systems out there for general mental health issues, a recent study by the Australian Institue of Family Studies (Source) highlighted that of the men they interviewed, only 1/4 of them would seek help, and 80% of them indicated they didn’t feel comfortable using a phone service for counseling. DadLAN’s approach to tackling mental health issues among men takes a gentler approach by encouraging Dads to simply show up and game. “You don’t have to talk about anything serious – just turn up, frag some other dads, and eat some pizza. At DadLAN we are about building shared experiences and trust as foundations for effective support” William says, emphasizing that the LAN parties are just the start of building trust and bonds, “Our Discord has a great range of topics from dad life, shopping, venting, gaming, etc. and people may find that easier to participate in.” He continued to add “We have positive feedback both from dads who attend and dads who help with running the events.”
There is a clear benefit to gaming and improving mental health with a recent finding by Oxford University (Source) conducted during the pandemic showing that gamers experiencing social connections via gaming may have a positive impact on mental well-being, as well as people who enjoy gaming experiences were more likely to report positive well-being. I personally have experienced the positive effects of social gaming after experiencing a very difficult time with PTSD and Depression, crumbling on the inside while struggling to maintain my composure on the outside as the dependable and steadfast “Sarge” to my friends. A fateful online session of Overwatch led to me opening up and incidentally creating unofficial weekly “Therapy” sessions with my mates.
So what about the Dads who may not have access to a PC or Laptop for the LAN? DadLAN has that covered with many laptops donated by WorkVentures that are sent to the Subnets ahead of the events. DadLAN is currently hosting events in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth, Adelaide, and The Fraser Coast with the latest event happening on May 19. If you’re interested or even curious about attending one of these events, take a look at DadLAN’s Website to get in touch with them or visit their Facebook Page to register for an event.
If you like the sound of this initiative and want to support them William has this to say: “Come along to an event and play/chat with us, join our Discord server, or maybe sponsor/partner with a local subnet. We want to help as many dads as we can, so if you feel like you can start up a subnet in your area let us know – we can get you started.” I know I’ll certainly be dusting off the PC Mouse/Keyboard Cobwebs to join them on May 19th at the Hervey Bay Community Centre.
Do you need to talk to someone?
Beyond Blue: This is a national organization that provides information and support to help people deal with depression and anxiety. They offer a helpline that is available 24/7 on 1300 224 636.
Lifeline: Lifeline is a national charity that provides crisis support and suicide prevention services. They have a helpline that is available 24/7 on 13 11 14.
SANE Australia: SANE provides support to people dealing with complex mental health issues, including depression. They offer a helpline that is available Monday to Friday, 10am to 10pm AEST, on 1800 187 263.
Black Dog Institute: The Black Dog Institute is a not-for-profit organization that provides information, resources and support for people affected by depression and bipolar disorder. They offer a helpline that is available Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm AEST, on 02 9382 2991.
Head to Health: This is an online mental health resource that provides information, advice, and links to services and support for people dealing with depression and other mental health issues. It includes a directory of mental health helplines and support services across Australia. You can visit their website at https://headtohealth.gov.au/ for more information.
